They often call Fouberts Place just off Carnaby street the Hawaii of Oxford Circus. Honestly, I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because of this Hawaiian themed burger joint? Or maybe I just made it up. Who knows? Hawaii themed bingo ensues: the shirts (check), surfboard (check), lei (check), ukele (check)….
Haha yeah. I am sure you are asking yourselves. What the F*** is a carrot doing there? Read on for the review…
This was a decent patty. But that was it. There was nothing special that tinkled my taste buds. It tasted very ‘samey’ (yes I know we eat burgers literally all the time) but I basically mean that there was no a Kua ‘Aina slant in the beef. It was seasoned well, coarse and chunky, but it did not set the world alight.
Nick and I both went for the half pounder, which sounds a lot but actually it was OK. Didn’t seem too big, and wouldn’t want any less. My patty had kind of split down the middle, picture the cells dividing in biology GCSE (Mitosis- Oh yeah Double B at science GCSE), so it meant that the cooking was kind of uneven and more overcooked than I would have wanted. Overall pretty average if I’m honest.
Well done Andy for getting a double B in his Science GSCE Score: 6
A fascinating bun because sprinkled on the top AND base of the bun were poppy seeds AND sesame seeds. Indeed, it worked a treat, was ‘featherlike’ and despite by initial worry, passed the Rip Test® (hooray!). This was unique (unlike their patty) so high marks from me.
I liked this bun. The mixture of poppy and sesame seeds were quite nice (top and bottom (mental)). It added something else to the bun which is always good. The bun is light and fluffy too so overall pretty good.
Sesame and Poppy got on well Score: 8
The toppings were good in places but very disappointing in others. Let’s start with the positive: The bacon was superb. Chewy, crispy, and salty, it added a lovely crunchy texture to the burger. Now the negatives: The cheese succumbed to the sheer strength of the beautiful bacon (even though the bacon nestled under it), and just need more flavour for me. The tomato was a little too thick, but the most disheartening part was the slice of onion. It was a gargantuan chunk of rubbishness. Literally gargantuan (see photo) . Ok that wasn’t the real photo (of the onion, but it is me), but check out the one below of Andy’s burger, and believe me when I say this…. Mine was 3 times the size. So I had to take it out. In addition, it was only half cooked… Where’s the passion guys?
We both went for the bacon cheeseburger. I was tempted by the pineapple, but I assumed it’s more of a gimmick given the theme rather than being good (happy to hear anyone’s thought on it though). The bacon was really good, my favourite part of the burger, really salty with the right amount of chew. It was the overriding taste of everything. The cheese was a bit lost, tomato too big, and the ONION. IT WAS HUGE. I don’t know why it was so thick??
We came for a burger, and we got an onion* Score:6
The bun was big and sturdy, so it easily supported the patty and toppings with very little mess. Not sure Andy was too happy however..
Due to the mitosis (a-thank-you) of my patty, it did fall apart a bit. But once I removed my Onion-on-roids (which sounds like it could be a town in the Cotswolds), tomato, lettuce, it actually handled ok. The sweet potato chips were really good too. Loved them.
Good handling Score:7.5
So you are all probably dying to read if Nick managed to eat his carrot to “make himself feel better about himself”. Well he did. Andy did not touch his. He cannot be blamed for that. It is totally random and we are unsure if it is even a Hawaiian ‘thing’?
If you’re in the area, this burger venue won’t be a terrible shout, but let’s be clear about this. It is very average. The ½ pounder bacon cheeseburger was just shy of £10. Add on £2.25 for the crunchy skin on fries and it isn’t bad value.
The burger quest continues.
*Comedy comment by the toppings above thanks to our friend Greenie. He has finally stepped up.